Tomorrow is my 49th birthday. In a lot of the spiritual circles I move in people talk about the importance of the number seven and how our lives flow in seven year cycles. Today is the last day of my seventh seven year cycle and the significance is not lost on me as I arrived in France yesterday to start my new life here.
When I reflect on where I was in my life seven years ago I am reminded that it was around that time when we realised that dad had developed Vascular Dementia and much of the interim period has been focused on sharing his care with my brother and sister. Dad eventually passed away last summer and just before then I had started to hear an inner nudge which was telling me to “make space” in my life. I had no idea why but I know not to ignore those soul whispers and so I took the apparently crazy decision to step back from the 1-1 Life Coaching work which had sustained me financially for eleven years. I stopped taking on any new clients, gradually wound down my coaching practice over last summer and took on a team of accredited coaches to carry on the work I had been doing.
At almost exactly the same time my only child, Georgia, graduated from university in Belfast and moved to Dundee to live with her partner and embark on her Master’s Degree. Within the space of a few months I realised that I was no longer caring for or supporting anyone for the first time in twenty one years (notice the end of another seven year cycle!) and the word FREEDOM kept rattling through my consciousness.
And now I sit here in a campsite in France inside our motor-home with no fixed abode, no home or garden to maintain, most of my possessions sold, a large lump sum in the bank, three businesses in Ireland which I can run remotely and total freedom to do and be whatever/whoever I want. A bit like when I started writing this blog, I have a big blank page in front of me and I can make the next seven year cycle into whatever I choose.
So, what will it be? What will I create now? What next?
Honestly, I don’t know but I do know for sure that I believe passionately in the power of intention and the new intention statement that has been coming to me for some time now is this…..
My soft feminine is allowing a beautiful, inspiring life full of fun, adventure, creativity and balance.
The idea of harnessing the power of intention to co-create your life is that you are not setting goals and you do not have any ego-led ideas of what that life will actually look like. However, you are clear on the feelings and values that you want to manifest and experience more of. I have been living this was for many years now and in the early days it was very challenging for my ego which was used to the perceived security and control of goal setting.
I have had to build my trust muscle by continuously affirming that the Universe is conspiring in my favour even if it often seems that that is not the case. Apparent challenges become wonderful learning opportunities and can be seen as adventures when you live this way.
Paranoia and fear transform into pronoia and trust – the belief that everything is working out for you. My childlike joy and enthusiasm for life have been awoken after the long sleep which so often happens as we ‘grow up’ and become ‘serious adults’. My life partner Eoin taught me how to play with life again and to embrace the uncertainty as an adventure rather than staying paralysed because of fear of the unknown.
And so here I am……49 tomorrow, absolutely no idea where or how I will be living when I turn 50 but reassured by a deep knowing that it will be beautiful, inspiring and full of fun, adventure, creativity and balance. Most importantly though is that I am stepping into my ‘soft feminine’ at this stage in my life. As I move into menopause (appropriately referred to as ‘the change’ by a lot of women) I feel the need to step back from all the busy-ness of caring for and supporting others and the constant hustle to make a living from self-employment. I feel the need to slow down and practice new levels of self-care. This is the natural way of things which so many woman of my age are disconnected from in our modern, ‘developed’ world.
Ancient Celtic wisdom talks of the three stages of womanhood – maiden, mother and crone. I have been really conscious over the last year that it is time for me to step out of the mother phase and into my crone phase. I am so grateful that I have listened to those soul whispers which have encouraged me to make these massive changes in my life all of which are preparing me to move into this natural and beautiful phase of womanhood with vitality and joie de vivre.
Happy birthday to Jenny!